Category Archives: Horoscopes

ZODIAC

43 Zodiac Poster

The Zodiac is an elaborate circular coordinate system which follows the positioning and path of the sun and moon.  The circle has twelve divisions that are called signs and today are most associated with horoscopic astrology.  Thus, each division has a sign, symbol, date, and characteristics.  What does your zodiac sign say about you?  Have fun creating and representing your zodiac symbol for this week’s zodiac theme!

Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)

When faced with choices this month push the limits, take a leap of faith. Then stand back and beat your chest, yeah, you deserve it monkey man/woman!  Practice proper ape noises in the privacy of your own bathroom, not at the office.

Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)

Don’t shake the tree as they say in the jungle. Everything is working in perfect unison and the rhythm is absolutely enchanting. Stop holding your breath and enjoy the moment.

Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)

Chores are done, projects wrapped up, apes away, and now time for the rest of us to play. Have fun learning a triple somersault dismount from the highest limb or re-arranging the fur-nature in the tree top canopy.  Find “Born to be Wild” soundtrack.

Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)

You may have doubted yourself and second guessed your actions in the past, but it’s time to turn over a new leaf.  I want you to look in the mirror and repeat after me “I’m good enough, I’m smart enough, and gosh darn it monkeys like me”.  DVR Saturday Night Live.

Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)

Monkey’s: be wary of spreading yourself too thin, stop and enjoy a banana or two.   Everything worth waiting for will be there as the dew welcomes in the new day.  Pick up banana daiquiri mix with those little paper umbrellas

Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY)

Tarzan doesn’t have anything on you, except maybe upper body strength… You are raring to go so take advantage of the energy surge this month. Temptations loom behind every tree don’t get caught monkeying around.  Note to self: Stay away from trees.

Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)

Busy, busy, busy! So much to do, hammocks need mending, and those bananas are not going to peel themselves. Go on, off you go, out the door, second left, follow the road south, just past the fountain, you can’t miss it.

Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)

Now is not the time to procrastinate.  If you are pondering, when is a good time to procrastinate… you are procrastinating!  Get your little, fuzzy, chimp butt in gear and take advantage of the current cosmic support!  Shave fuzzy chimp butt.

Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)

Please use caution conducting your monkey business this month, now is not the time to speculate.  A little monkey perfume/cologne may prove beneficial as chemistry ensues from a chance meeting. Note to self: Buy some monkey perfume/cologne.

Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)

Wow, is it just me or are you looking good this month! Monkey mood is at an all-time high! Time to secure the elusive mate you’ve had your eye on with your inner “macho, macho, man” or “I am women hear me roar”.  Carry compact mirror for constant pick-me-ups.

Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)

Vegas Baby! You’re rolling snake eyes and betting on red! Now is not the time for reluctance or second guessing, that’s for those other primates. Locate gambling anonymous hotline.

Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)

Your monkey mind combined with your monkey agility is a lethal force this month.  The two have never come together so nicely. “Who’s the awkward one now?” you find yourself asking.  Stop singing Kung-Fu Monkey.

Disclaimer: All Readings subject to change, in the event you found yourself ill-advised please remember to sling ink, not stink!

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Karma

32 Karma Poster

You’ll get what’s coming to you!
What goes around, comes around!

Golden rule in Christianity – Do on to others as you would have them do on to you!

I do believe the above statements were made thinking of the laws of causality – Karma

Karma can refer to the principle of causality where intent and actions of an individual influence the future of that individual. Good intent and good deed contribute to good karma and future happiness, while bad intent and bad deed contribute to bad karma and future suffering.

The theory of Karma is a fundamental doctrine in Buddhism. This belief was prevalent in India before the advent of the Buddha. Nevertheless, it was the Buddha who explained and formulated this doctrine in the complete form in which we have it today.

I am not of any faith but, I most certainly believe in Karma. Sometimes karma isn’t as swift and punctual as we would like but eventually it does catch up with those who its chasing. It is almost as if it is the psychological equivalent to Newtons cradle. Every action has an opposite or equal reaction. You treat someone bad, expect someone to treat you bad. If you treat someone with respect, respect you will be shown.

There are many in the world Karma is still chasing but sooner or later it will catch up to them. Like Revenge being a dish best served cold, sometimes Karma likes to wait for the most appropriate time to strike.  I believe there are certain ISIS crowds Karma is searching for and its only a matter of time before it gets its chance.

Yay for Karma! Without it, I would have probably been arrested for trying to make amends when it was taking too long to catch up to those I believe needed some justice.

So, are there any Karma inspired artworks that come to mind for you monkeys? Can’t wait to find out.

Ape Vine Monthly Horoscope – December 2013

Zoodiacal month ahead with Mystic Macaque

(Animation by Jim Peterson)
Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)
When faced with choices this month push the limits, take a leap of faith. Then stand back and beat your chest, yeah, you deserve it monkey man/woman!  Practice proper ape noises in the privacy of your own bathroom, not at the office.
 
Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
Don't shake the tree as they say in the jungle. Everything is working in perfect unison and the rhythm is absolutely enchanting. Stop holding your breath and enjoy the moment.
 
Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
Chores are done, projects wrapped up, apes away, and now time for the rest of us to play. Have fun learning a triple somersault dismount from the highest limb or re-arranging the fur-nature in the tree top canopy.  Find "Born to be Wild" soundtrack.
 
Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
You may have doubted yourself and second guessed your actions in the past, but it's time to turn over a new leaf.  I want you to look in the mirror and repeat after me "I'm good enough, I'm smart enough, and gosh darn it monkeys like me".  DVR Saturday Night Live.
 
Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
Monkey's: be wary of spreading yourself too thin, stop and enjoy a banana or two.   Everything worth waiting for will be there as the dew welcomes in the new day.  Pick up banana daiquiri mix with those little paper umbrellas.
 
Taurus (20 APRIL – 20 MAY)
Tarzan doesn't have anything on you, except maybe upper body strength... You are raring to go so take advantage of the energy surge this month. Temptations loom behind every tree don't get caught monkeying around.  Note to self: Stay away from trees.
 
Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)
Busy, busy, busy! So much to do, hammocks need mending, and those bananas are not going to peel themselves. Go on, off you go, out the door, second left, follow the road south, just past the fountain, you can't miss it.
 
Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)
Now is not the time to procrastinate.  If you are pondering, when is a good time to procrastinate... you are procrastinating!  Get your little, fuzzy, chimp butt in gear and take advantage of the current cosmic support!  Shave fuzzy chimp butt.
 
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)
Please use caution conducting your monkey business this month, now is not the time to speculate.  A little monkey perfume/cologne may prove beneficial as chemistry ensues from a chance meeting. Note to self: Buy some monkey perfume/cologne.
 
Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
Wow, is it just me or are you looking good this month! Monkey mood is at an all-time high! Time to secure the elusive mate you've had your eye on with your inner "macho, macho, man" or "I am women hear me roar".  Carry compact mirror for constant pick-me-ups.
 
Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)
Vegas Baby! You’re rolling snake eyes and betting on red! Now is not the time for reluctance or second guessing, that's for those other primates. Locate gambling anonymous hotline.
 
Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)
Your monkey mind combined with your monkey agility is a lethal force this month.  The two have never come together so nicely. "Who's the awkward one now?" you find yourself asking.  Stop singing Kung-Fu Monkey.

Disclaimer: All Readings subject to change, in the event you found yourself ill-advised please remember to sling ink, not stink!